


Crap I wrote

by MoonfurTheTemmie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Undertale (Video Game), dreamswap - Fandom
Genre: A couple of crackships but you probably already figured that out, A cross over or two but they're just kinda there, All Stars is my favorite poly, Also a decent amount of angst, Gen, Maybe one day I'll write something for said Hoes, Mmm lets see what's actually important, Multi, Some death, This is mostly undertale shit, its right up there with the Chaotic Hoes, lots of crack, the written kind not the actual drug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27441304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonfurTheTemmie/pseuds/MoonfurTheTemmie
Summary: I mostly do Undertale and it’s AUs but I do other stuff to.Also its mostly little shorts but also some head cannon lists that I got excited about when I was writing themHonestly I'm not sure how to tag this because all the chapters are different and i have the memory of a goldfish but hopefully I didn't miss anything. Some chapters will have their own warnings that won't apply to others, but anyway
Relationships: All Stars (poly), Blueberry/Dust, Chara/Papyrus (Undertale), Cross/Nightmare, DS Blue/Marvin the Marcrowave, DS Dream/DS Cross, DS Dream/DS Nightmare, DS Ink/Cross, DS Ink/Kevin the Chicken (its not beastialty i swear Ink just made a friend), DS Nightmare/DS Ink, DS Nightmare/Reader, Dream/Cross, Dream/Horror - Relationship, Dream/Killer (Also questionable), I'll probably forget a bunch of them but, Ink Sans/his giant paintbrush Broomie, Ink/Nightmare (suggested), Killer/Dust (Sort of??), Nightmare/Blueberry, Uhh there are some
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25





	1. Intro + The Problem with Shipping Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> I seem to write a lot of short stories, I made a book of them. Not everything in here is written like this one; this was just supposed to be crack.  
> I promise the quality of this stuff will get better the further you go

(Across the multiverse, three phones buzzed in their owners’ pockets. Ink, sitting by a waterfall in Waterfall, took his out.)

Blue: Hi everyone!

???: Who the hell is this

Dream: Um, Blue? Who all is here?

????: The Star Sanses, Nightmare, and me.

Nightmare: Dust what the hell

Ink: What’s going on?

Dust: And the culprit arrives!

Dream: Culprit?

Blue: Ink we have questions.

(Ink was very confused.)

Ink: Um... okay...?

Nightmare: Dust how did you get the Star Sanses numbers and why tf did you add me?

Dream: Blue, are you...

Blue: Yes

Ink: WAIT REALLY?!?

Dust: Don’t get any ideas buddy

Ink: Wut

Nightmare: Wtf are you talking about

Blue: So uh...

Blue: Dust and I may have gone through one of your sketchbooks, Ink.

(Realization dawned on the artist.)

Dream: Blue! 

Dream: That’s his personal property!

Ink: Please tell me you didn’t 

Dust: Oh, u know which one we’re talking about?

Blue: So then can you please explain this?

{Picture of Dream x Nightmare}

(There is a pause.)

Nightmare: WTF

Dream: INK WHAT THE HELL

(Ink was too busy writing his will to respond.)

Blue: Dream I’m like two AUs over and I can here you screeching from here.

Dream: DO YOU BLAME ME

Nightmare: Ink, you should’ve told me you wanted an early grave.

Blue: Nightmare please don’t kill Ink.

Dust: Yeah, Error already staked a claim on Ink’s life.

???: I did.

Error: This is why I hack people’s phones.

Error: When’s the wedding?

Dream: OMG STOP

Nightmare: I’m going to kill all of you. 

Nightmare: SLOWLY and PAINFULLY.

Dream: Please hurry...

Nightmare: STFU DREAM

Error: Oooh wanna see ur boyfriend again?

Nightmare: ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE IT WORSE

Dust: I’m so glad we did this

Blue: I’m having second thoughts.

Dust: I like how Ink isn’t trying to defend himself.

Ink: I hate all of you.

Nightmare: You wish you could

Dream: No you don’t.

Blue: You can’t

Dust: Lmao u don’t.

Error: You too squid

(Suddenly, Ink felt his sins crawling on his back.)

“Ink.”

“S***.”

.

.

.

.

Ink: DREAM TELL YOUR BROTHER TO STOP TRYING TO KILL ME

Dream: What are you talking about?

Dust: Oh that’s where the boss went lmao

Blue: ...

Dream: Ink, Nightmare can’t be chasing you because I’m currently hiding from him.

Ink: LIES

Error: *Link to YouTube, showing the thumbnail for a video*

{Very angry Nightmare chasing Ink}

Dust: XD

Blue: Lol

Dream: ...

Dream: I have no polite response to that

Ink: DREAM WHY

Error: Anyone want popcorn?

Dust: Please

Dream: Yes please ^^

Blue: Sure!

Ink: SOMEBODY HELP ME

MEANWHILE, IN ANOTHER MULTIVERSE...

Justice Reigns

(Ink felt his phone buzz. It was an unknown number, so he was going to ignore it until his boss responded.)

???: Hello everyone.

Dream: Who is this?

????: Why is Dream here?

?????: Wait what

Dream: Nightmare?

??????: Blue how did you get our numbers

Ink: How many people are even on here

?????: Ink is that you

Blue: Oh, you know. All the important people. 

Nightmare: I’m not sure whether I should be flattered or scared that I’m one of the important people.

??????: Definitely scared.

?????: I agree with Error

(Using context clues, Ink assumes the last unknown number was Cross.)

Dream: Blue would you please explain why you texted all of us at once?

Blue: Glady~

Error: Oh god this can’t be good

Blue: It is, I promise ;)

Nightmare: Please never do that again

Cross: You shouldn’t have said anything

Blue: ;)

Cross: SEE

Blue: All joking aside, I have something I’d like to share with you all.

Blue: You are all probably familiar with how I like to give everyone in JR a visit.

Ink: AKA breaking in

Dream: You stole something, didn’t you?

Blue: Nothing of real value

Blue: Well, Ink might want his sketchbook back but I don’t think anyone else cares.

Ink: Uh

Ink: EXCUSE ME

Ink: WHEN WAS THIS

(Ink searched his room and found that, indeed, he was missing one. But not just any sketchbook.)

Ink: Oh hell no

Blue: Oh yes ;)

Nightmare: STOP 

Nightmare: STOP DOING THAT

Dream: I’m curious now.

Ink: Don’t even think about it

Blue: It’s funny how you think you can stop me.

Ink: Don’t you dare

Error: Do what?

Cross: Oooh secrets?

Cross: I like secrets!

Ink: SHUT UP

Dream: Ink, what’s in that sketchbook that’s making you so upset? 

Dream: I can sense it from my office.

Nightmare: Okay, fine, I want to know now.

Blue: Well, you heard them Ink.

Ink: No

Blue: But you know what they say...

Ink: Don’t 

Blue: Curiosity killed the cat~

Ink: BLUE

{Ship art of DS Dream x Nightmare}

(There is a pause in which Ink considers his options on how to escape Dream’s wrath)

Cross: Uh

Error: Well Nightmare is dying here on the floor

Cross: He would like to send his anger to the artist

Error: It sounds like he’s trying to say “What the actual f***” and “I’m going to f***ing murder you,” but he’s currently choking on his taco so we can’t be certain.

Dream: Ink

Dream: Explain

Ink: No thanks 

Ink: I’m good

Ink: I think I’m going to go jump into the void now.

Error: Nightmare’s alive

Nightmare: WTF

Nightmare: INK WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM

(Nightmare continued to spam angry messages, a few repeating that he and Dream were brothers.)

Error: Nightmare

Nightmare: WHAT

Error: Look to your left

(Short pause.)

Cross: ERROR I TRUSTED YOU

Nightmare: BOB CROSS GET YOUR MONOCHROME ASS BACK HERE

Cross: NOOTMARE DON’T KILL ME PLZ 

Blue: This was a great idea.

Dream: I’m getting a warrant for your death.

Dream: As soon as I have a little chat with Ink

Ink: Can I have that job

Ink: Oh

Ink: Nvm

Error: Lol 

Ink: stfu glitchy 

Cross: I have one question 

Ink: Save it

Cross: Lmao no

Cross: I managed to hide from Nightmare

Cross: Is anybody else wondering why Blue decided to show us this?

Blue: Oops, I almost forgot.

(Pause. Ink felt a bead of sweat make its way down his skull.)

Dream: ...Ink.

Ink: I would like to remind you that he stole my personal property

Blue: To be perfectly fair, Ink was a victim as well.

Cross: As well?

Error: And you say you’ve never personally victimized any of us

Blue: Ahem.

Blue: Dream. Nightmare. 

Blue: I wonder what would happen if this picture made its way out into public view?

Nightmare: I hate blackmail

Error: It’s a black spot-

Cross: Jack we’re not pirates

Error: CROSS

Cross: That’s Bob Cross to you

Nightmare: Guys please

Nightmare: This is a serious problem 

Dream: For once I agree with you.

Nightmare: What do you mean, for once?

Blue: I’ll just, ah, private message you two with the details.

(The sound of his door opening made Ink freeze in his journey to hiding under his bed. He turned.)

“Ink.” Dream’s voice was dangerously calm. “I believe we need to have a little talk.”

{Dream angrily staring down at Ink, who is regretting his life choices}

From that day forward, both artists were scarred for life.


	2. Oh hEck-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something i wrote because I wanted to add something to the book back when it was only on Quotev

**Day one:**

Don’t tell anyone this, but I’m GoInG tO fUcKiNg DiE-

Okay. Sorry. Uh, my name’s Nightmare, I’m the Lord of Dank Memes (insert trademark), and also the main target of Justice Reigns, the most powerful organization in the multiverse.

But that was when I was in my own multiverse. 

Now I’m being held hostage by this horrifying octopus thing that’s apparently me, and he’s waiting for his version of Dream to come and rescue me because he thinks that it’s some clever trick. 

At first, Goopy decided that he’d keep me with him. By which I mean he held me three feet in the fricken air with his tentacles. Upside down.

Thankfully he finally put me in the dungeon, and I found a random notebook. I’m hoping that my friends find me and bring me back, but if they don’t get here in time I want them to know what happened to me. 

I guess it could be worse. There could be an angsty version of Cross and a crazy version of Error. 

**Day two:**

Surprisingly, there is an angsty version of Cross and a crazy version of Error.

In fact, Cross and Error here are both insane. Everyone in this creepy-ass castle is insane, actually. At least Cross seems chill, despite being angsty. And he brings me food. 

...I just heard Angsty Cross and Goopy talking and Cross called Goopy ‘Senpai’. My relationship with Cross from my multiverse is being put into a new perspective. 

This cell is so small. I honestly prefer the ones in JR, which is saying a lot because my being in a cell in JR usually means I’m very close to death, or whatever my bro has planned for me.

I can feel the despair in this place, too. I’m only one in many people imprisoned here, and most of them have gone insane. I can also sense that Goopy imbued the walls with his own negative aura, which is a lot stronger than mine. Probably because it makes the prisoners even more hopeless.

Well, joke’s on him. 

I’m already insane.

**Day three:**

Okay. Someone’s here. I can hear fighting, and like every ten minutes there’s a surge of positive energy that cuts off almost immediately. 

...It can’t be my Dream, can it?

Goopy obviously are the apples in this multiverse. That much is obvious. Which means that his Dream can’t have a very powerful aura, but, my brother’s POSITIVE aura is just as powerful as Goopy’s. So in theory, their auras would periodically cancel the other’s out as they weaken each other. 

The more I think about it, the stupider that idea is. It’s most likely this multiverse’s Dream. He probably has a weapon like my spear, only he can’t use it all the time. Maybe a long-range weapon like a bow or ninja stars. 

Hey, why don’t I have ninja stars?!?

**Day four—Cross:**

Sooo I’m here now. Nightmare pretty much crushed me in a hug when I got here, so I guess he’s happy to see me. 

Speaking of nightmares, the bipedal octopus may or may not be thinking up ways to violently murder me. Because I showed up at the same time as these “Star Sanses.” I didn’t even see them, so I have no idea why he thinks I’m involved.

Nightmare says the bipedal octopus is an alternative version of him. How did Nightmare turn into THAT thing?!? 

Ugh. I don’t want to think about it. I’m going to take a nap on the luxurious bed of nails. At least, it feels like sleeping on a bed of nails. 

**Nightmare:**

Are lobsters like mermaids to scorpions? Wait. Can lobsters breathe air? Because if so then they’re definitely mer-scorpions. 

Side note, I need to come up with a nickname for Angsty Cross. I mean, I guess I could call him Scarfs since he always has his scarf over his face. 

Or maybe I could call him Ink Jr. since he acts like Ink back home. Cross seems to agree with me. I think I’ll use both on him and see which bothers him most. 

**Day five—Nightmare:**

Remember how I said I was going to die? I was only 90% certain then. Now I’m 99% certain. 

Angry Error decided to drop by. I’d like to mention that before, when I said he was insane, I was only relaying information that I had heard. I hadn’t actually met the guy. Turns out he’s a much angrier, much more unstable, and much more destructive version of Blue. 

And when I say destructive I mean he destroys AUs for fun. I’m going to call him Dr. Destructo. 

I really hope our Error doesn’t meet Dr. Destructo. He probably won’t take it well. On the other hand, Dr. Destructo seemed pretty miffed that Cross and I exist, so maybe he’ll die of shock when he encounters Error. 

**Cross:**

This place is awful. The bed is uncomfortable, the food tastes weird, and there’s nothing to DO. At least my cell is next to Nightmare’s. Yes, he hugged me through the bars. That’s not weird; you’re weird. 

Anyway, I also feel like I’m never going to get out of here, even though it’s only my second day. If I didn’t know Nightmare, I wouldn’t recognize it as the same magic he has. Still, it’s really discouraging. I’m sure we’ll get out somehow. 

...Still working on the how part, but even when I get to it I’m not going to write it down. I’m not stupid, I know that Goopy and his goons can just take the notebook and read it. 

Side note, Nightmare are you serious. Of course lobsters are mermaid scorpions, you dumbass. 

**Nightmare:**

Says the guy who tried to buy a $30 cactus online.

Bleh.

**Cross:**

That’s not a valid argument, dude.

**Nightmare:**

Of course it is. Also, we are we having this conversation on the notebook? Its like texting while we’re sitting next to each other.

**Cross:**

🤔 🤷

**Nightmare:**

Dork.

**Day six—Cross:**

I have decided that I am going to be a troll. 

Prepare yourselves, villains! Cross, Second In Memes, is about to make your lives living hell. Eventually they’ll have to let us go.

_*There’s a line that’s been erased, but you can just make out what it says._

Or just me, but I’m pretty sure Error got here too so I can find him and we can bust Nightmare out.

Yeah, that’ll work. Totally. 

Or maybe I could summon Kevin. He’d frickin murder these bitches. 

**Nightmare:**

Cross, Kevin isn’t a weapon of mass destruction, no matter how violently he likes to greet us. Also, please don’t encourage Goopy to turn him into chicken nuggets. 

If Goopy kills Kevin, it’s entirely your fault and I will not stop his angry ghost from using you as a chicken scratching post.

**Cross:**

But Kevin’s, like, immortal. I doubt Goopy could kill him.

**Nightmare:**

Yeah, and so am I. And Dream. But we can still be killed. 

**Cross:**

Oh. Right. 

...I’m hungry for chicken now.

**Nightmare:**

You sicken me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda regretting doing this there are like 41 more chapters i need to upload and I'm cringing at my old writing gfdksgfdgsfd  
> But i want to put something on here so here we are


	3. Scattering Petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The result of an angst monger deciding she doesn't need to make sure she's getting stuff right and finding a wonderful way to create sads  
> Would've been better if I actually had looked up the hanahaki disease and did it right but oh well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character death warning

The universes crumbled in on themselves, vanishing in a familiar pop! However the skeleton did not waste time to admire his work; his time was running short.

_Nemesis, the Greek goddess of revenge, loves to tear down the proud and mighty._

His rival appeared soon after, but he was already through his own portal. The shorter skeleton huffed and stomped his feet, annoyed that he still couldn't catch the source of the destruction.

_There's a reason why things get more difficult as heroes and villains get better at what they do._

Said source didn't have the will or strength to fight. Instead he covered the parasitic things as best he could, and ran when he finished a job.

_Flowers are some of the first plants to grow back after an area is ravaged by a natural disaster._

But that was weeks ago, and now the skeleton was forced to kill millions of strangers from the safety of his empty home. The place that was once his own personal hell.

_So what better way to tear down Error, the broken and practically invincible Destroyer of AUs, then with the Flower Disease?_

"Error! What the hell?!" 

Error ignored the outraged cry that sounded behind him. Not that he could respond, even if he wanted to.

"Are you just going to ignore me?" the voice, which was undoubtedly Ink's, demanded. "First you go on a fricken' killing spree for weeks, and then I find you taking a fucking nap?" 

Even as the sound of footsteps moved from behind him to in front of him, all Error did was look tiredly at his old rival.

"Oh for the love of god, just say somethi-" Ink's outburst was immediately cut off when the Protector saw Error's face. "Oh," Ink said, his eye lights changing to show his alarm, "Oh my god." 

The flowers, which formed an otherwise lovely-looking pattern on Error's skull, had sapped so much of his energy and strength that the only response he could muster was closing his eye sockets. The constant pain spiked as the flowers in his throat tried again to cut off his airflow. Error coughed, spitting out a few of the painful, golden petals as he lost feeling in his phalanges. All Ink could do was stare until he noticed the reason why. 

Ink did not care about Error. He couldn't. But he did know at least one person who did.

In one swift movement, Ink created a portal to the small skeleton's living room, grabbed Error, and jumped through.

"BLUE!" he yelled, gently setting Error on the couch. Error was quickly losing his fingers and toes, turning into the same petals that were trying to kill him. "Blue, hurry!" 

Blue frantically opened the door to his room. "INK?" he asked. "WHAT-" Ink carefully sat Error up so Blue could see him. Blue's bright-well, blue-eye lights dimmed considerably as they shrank from the size of quarters to tiny pinpricks. "Oh my stars-What happened? Where did you find him?" Blue asked Ink a flurry of questions as he ran down the stairs to his glitchy friend's side. Error managed no more than a hint of a smile at seeing him one last time, but Blue saw it. Ink shook his head helplessly. "He was in the Anti-Void. I don't know how long he's been like this, and I don't know how..." he trailed off, his meaning clear. How the hell had Error gotten the Hanahaki disease?

Error coughed again as more flowers bloomed on and in his body, pushing through his clothes to reveal just how many flowers were strangling him. FlowerFell Frisk never had anywhere near as many as Error had. Even though they had long since covered him completely save his skull, they had begun to crowd each other out, fighting each other for space as Error silently worked through the constant pain. Had...had he still been up and moving up till now? Even though they were more than enough to kill anyone else? 

Tears formed in the corners of Blue's eyes as the thought came to him. "E-Error, why didn't you tell somebody?" he asked through his sniffles. Error shrugged weakly. His voice had been taken by the disease, and now it would take his life. Blue sobbed and hugged his friend. Prompted by Error's surprisingly clear, pointed gaze, Ink guided Error's arms so he could hug Blue back.

Even for the soulless artist, it was heartbreaking to watch Blue's reaction when, suddenly, Error was no longer there. His eye lights vanished, and the tears stopped as he caught a handful of the petals Error had become. Then, the shock wore off, and the sobbing began. The tears didn't come back; only a small flood. Papyrus, who had been at Muffet's, came in to find Ink doing his best to comfort Blue, as the stood by the couch in a pile of golden flower petals.


	4. I know this isn't a short story but-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I went through a period where i wanted to find impossible ships and find a way to make them work. Enter: DS Cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I've learned more about the characters so this is pretty OOC and i mixed up some of the dialogue lines but I'm too lazy to change it  
>  ~~I have a small folder in my notes app thats just this.~~  
>  _ ~~hehehehe hyper fixation go brrrr~~_

\- Canonically Cross HATES Dream, but I don’t think Kai ever said that Dream actually hated Cross. Yes, in the thing for Outcome B it IS implied, but that dialog goes, and I quote:

Cross: My opinion of you hasn’t changed!

Dream: Likewise.

\- It’s actually fairly likely that Dream just sees Cross as a major annoyance, because with all those apples he ate he shouldn’t be able to hate people I mean honestly. Maybe some sadness now and then but not hate.  
\- But! (And this is why I like loopholes) What if Dream liked Cross???  
\- Ok also for some reason I imagine the Meme Squad moving into JR apartments eventually and idk why but there you have it. For the sake of plot and argument let’s just say they’ve moved in already.  
\- So insert cheesy logic for Dream to like Cross; I like to imagine that Dream just finds his antics cute.  
\- But Dream is well aware that Cross isn’t his biggest fan SO  
\- Cross has a little place he likes to hang out and Dream just happens to know because let’s be honest when you secretly admire someone you start to low-key stalk them even if you’re not trying to or if you don’t think of it that way.  
\- Anyway Dream leaves Cross a note at his special place that says something like “Hey! I just want you to know that you have a secret admirer ;)” Maybe a little more in the tone Dream has but he doesn’t want it to be obvious that he’s writing it either so it’s also a bit not  
\- And Cross just goes “wait what who sInCe WhEn”  
\- Dream leaves a few more notes and occasionally a gift or two (CHOCOLATE) and eventually Cross leaves a note for his mysterious admirer and they start talking through these notes. Now Cross has a habit of going to his little spot every morning, finding and reading the newest note, and then writing and leaving his own. Dream comes by too but only in the evening after Cross leaves the last time for the day.  
\- Cross starts sassing his admirer like “How do you know this is my favorite spot? Are you a stalker?!?” When Dream reads that he just about dies because it’s so typical of Cross omg XD  
\- But yeah and then Cross’s like “So hey you ever going to tell me who you are?” And Dream says “Maybe. Depends.” And it turns into “I’ll give you a hint every day and you have to figure it out yourself. Your first hint: I am somebody you know.” The second hint is some version of “You aren’t very fond of me.”  
\- Cross gets so into it that even when Nightmare and/or Error figures out who it is Cross’s like “No don’t tell me I wanna figure it out myself.”  
\- Also Ink’s probably in on it. In fact it’s possible Ink has been made Cupid’s unwilling and uncaring messenger. So one day Ink’s like “Dude it’s D-“ and Cross just goes “NOPE NOT LISTENING” “But-“ “LALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU” and puts his hands over his non-existent ears while Ink’s just like ‘Are you seriously this childish’  
\- Dream heard about it eventually and he’s just like ‘Yep sounds like Cross’ but also ‘Yeah Ink plz don’t tell him if he wants to figure out himself lel’  
\- Cross eventually narrows it down to Ink (because he’s such a troll and would totally do that just to see his reaction when Cross found out it was just a huge prank), Dream, and Blue because the latter two like to use ‘proper English’ He expressly tells his secret admirer his suspicions with the side note ‘I’m not sure which possibility scares me more.’  
\- Once Cross finds out though he just takes one big step back like i’M sOrRy WhAt TrY aGaIn  
\- Cross just doesn’t even come to his spot for a few days and Dream just KNOWS Cross figured it out but he still leaves a note like “Are you feeling alright? I haven’t heard from you in a while.”  
\- Finally Cross is just like ‘ok I gotta do something about this I can’t just ignore it’ and pops on over to Dream’s office.  
\- And Dream’s just kinda like ‘Oh hai how are you doing?’ Except trying to be chill about it and also in Dream’s semi-pretentious ways. But he’s been worrying about Cross  
\- Cross realizes he has no idea what to say so he just kinda stands there awkwardly while Dream waits patiently, Nightmare eavesdrops, and Blue watches from the vents because seriously he’d find out and this is so much more interesting than the Inkmare bull going on-  
~~Oh. Oops. Well guess I’m talking about that next lmao~~  
\- ...and Ink and Error are waiting separately for Nightmare to report back to them with the results  
\- Right so after a moment of ‘what in the heck do I say’ the only thing he can think of besides a hello is ‘those chocolates were really good’  
\- Cue Blue and Nightmare trying not to alert the drama kings to their very amused presence.  
\- I mean it’s possible Dream knew they were there but he’s a bit distracted-  
\- Now what happens? Idk this is weird and awkward and I can’t get past Cross being an awkward bean in Dream’s office while Dream silently contemplates how cute he’s being  
\- But if Dream just randomly came out of the blue and said “Hey Cross I think ur cute lol blushy face” etc then Cross would just kinda die where he was standing/sitting/whatever. But when some anonymous person keeps sending you chocolate, and cute little flattering notes you kinda start to like them even if you don’t know who it is. So now seeing that this unknown person whom he’s oddly grown attached to is the guy he hates for taking his friend away and who was such an ass to Nightmare? Now he doesn’t know what to think of Dream because once you learn that somebody likes you a part of you starts liking them back and this is just  
\- “Ok stop my non-existent brain hurts this is so confusing”  
\- But Dream’s not one to give up easily. He starts doing little things to show his affection that could be from anyone but Cross knows it’s Dream and he’s mortified.  
\- Also just walking up to Cross randomly like “Hey how’s it going” and handing him a chocolate bar. And Cross becomes a grape but grudgingly takes the chocolate bar and eats it like “I still hate you but thanks”  
Dream doesn’t want to win Cross over with his aura though so he tries very hard not to use it around him.  
\- But with each flirty interaction Cross becomes more and more flattered and even without his aura Dream’s very charismatic and now Cross shows his true side as a tsundere  
\- One day Dream’s too busy to flirt with Cross and now he’s kinda missing the attention but sh  
\- One afternoon Cross is at his spot (I imagine a spot in the gardens where he can watch the sunset because I also imagine him as kinda romantic since he’s a weaboo) because hecc he shouldn’t avoid the place just because he doesn’t want to talk to the winged boi. Dream is actually just taking a walk in the area because it’s a nice place and his life isn’t all Cross. But there’s his love, why doesn’t he go say hi and I’m going to write this out I’m sorry-

“Good afternoon, Cross.” Dream said, folding his wings behind his back and sitting down next to Cross. Cross tensed as his no-longer-secret admirer did so, but he kept looking ahead, at the sunset, and said nothing. Dream followed his gaze. “I can see why you’d like it here,” Dream said softly. “It’s rather serene, isn’t it?”

Cross gave a dry laugh. “Yeah. It is.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice. Dream blinked and tilted his head forward ever so slightly so he could see Cross’s face. Cross looked away. Dream could still sense his anger and hate, but it wasn’t directed at him this time. There was also...longing. And grief. And something else that he could tell Cross was trying to suppress. 

After a moment of tense silence, Cross spoke. “Before my AU was destroyed, there wasn’t really any color. Sure, our magic was usually red or blue, but mostly everything was black and white.” Cross absentmindedly rubbed the scar on his chin. “But the sky always had color. Sunset and sunrise, if you could watch, were beautiful. In one timeline, Asgore and Toriel had a huge garden, even bigger than this one. In the middle, was a big, sturdy oak tree, with a bench and a tire swing. And with the palace on the north end of the garden, it was the perfect place to watch the sun, dusk and dawn.”

Dream listened to Cross describe this timeline with such sorrow, such homesickness that Dream wanted to comfort him. But Cross wouldn’t take too kindly to that. Instead, he spoke.

“You speak as if that garden only existed in that one timeline.”

Cross looked back at the sun, which had sunk halfway beneath the horizon at this point, and sighed.

“When X-Tale was first created, only Gaster, Frisk, and Chara existed. There wasn’t anything else. Gaster was supposed to create a world for the humans using his ‘Overwrite’ power.” Cross shook his head. “But Gaster was never satisfied with his work. He overwrote the timeline again, and again, and again, trying out different ideas he had gotten from other AUs. Sometimes he put us underground, and sometimes we lived on the surface. In one timeline he actually made a black-and-white version of Outertale. 

“Sometimes he'd change little things about our personalities. But whatever happened in the timeline, however much the humans loved their newest world, Gaster would overwrite it, saying that he would make it better, that it wasn’t as good as it could be. That garden was in one of the most peaceful timelines he ever created. In fact, it was probably the one that Chara and Frisk were most upset to leave. But he still wasn’t satisfied.”

Cross was shaking now. He was so angry at Gaster, for putting them through everything. For being an all-powerful perfectionist. Dream was about to tell him that things wouldn’t change like that again when he suddenly froze. Dream watched in alarm as Cross no longer looked like Cross. His face flickered to a human’s face, with tousled white hair and a strained look, then back to Cross only without his scar.

For a few moments, during which all Dream could do was watch, the human face and the skeleton face fought for control. Then, he looked like his usual self again, only anxious. Scared. Dream didn’t put his arm around Cross, but he did wrap one of his wings around the monochrome skeleton. 

“I don’t know how difficult that must’ve been for you,” he said softly. “But nothing like that will ever happen again.”

Cross didn’t respond. When they were in their physical form, Dream’s wings were warm. Not hot. Just...Cross really didn’t want to move away. He didn’t realize he was leaning towards Dream until his skull touched the other’s shoulder. 

“Uhh...

Cross’ inner grape quickly took over as his eye lights met Dream’s surprised yet smug face. 

“Hi...?”

Dream chuckled. “Hello. Are you comfortable there?” he teased. Cross somehow turned a deeper shade of purple. “N-n-no,” He stammered, jerking upright. Now that the sun had fully set, the light from Dream’s wings made the tall skeleton look...oddly handsome. He always looked angelic with those dumb things, but now they lit up his face in a majestic way. Because he wasn’t majestic enough already.

Dream folded his wings back, making Cross a little sad. It was cold without them. If he was honest with himself, it had felt nice to be wrapped in Dream’s loving embrace. But he didn’t know how to deal with his feelings after everything that had happened. After hating him for so long, it felt weird to see him in a different light. But, here they were, with Dream looking like he had just won the lottery-surprised but glad, and Cross trying to not think about how much he liked being the reason for that expression. 

Little did the two know, Blue was hiding in the background, praying for a kiss so he could take a picture and save it for later use (aka blackmail).

...He’d probably leave it somewhere for Nightmare and Error to find, as well, since he knew how much they shipped this. Ink too.

**_Now the DS Inkmare thing I’m kinda obliged to write about now_ **

\- Alright so that little comic where they’re arguing, then kiss, then freak out about it is kinda the main idea of this version of their relationship. Also this thing my friend on wrote where they were fighting like:

NM: I hate how much of an ass you are

Ink: I hate how you always make a meme out of everything

And they say legit things to hate each other for but then it turns into:

NM: I hate how stupidly handsome you are

Ink: I hate you’re so short and that somehow makes you cute

Ink + NM: I HATE HOW I WANT TO KISS YOU

*wait what*

*staring contest*

NM: *glare* Did you mean that

Ink: *Very confused and stares back blankly* I dunno did u

NM: *marches up to Ink, grabs the collar of his shirt, and gives him a quick kiss before pushing him away* 

NM: Don’t let me see you again

\- Ok so that was set before any outcome could take place meaning the Meme Squad was wanted then and stuff so lemme just build my head canons onto it  
\- I would think that since things are weird now they purposely start avoiding each other. Like if Nightmare’s out doing whatever and sees Ink he turns around and goes the other way. Same with Ink too unless he’s on some mission chasing a guy and can’t turn around but then he just ignores NM who just pretends nothing’s happening this is fine-  
\- Then one day the whole Squad is out getting nice cream or something and Ink’s walking by lost in thought about the best art supplies and brands or whatever and he doesn’t notice them until it’s too late for him to just turn around cuz they’ve spotted him now uh oh  
\- Yeah so instead of dealing with shit he just keeps his head down, avoids eye contact, and walks past. Pretending they aren’t even there. And Nightmare had his jaw clenched and was ready to give Ink a big ‘ol ‘FUNK OFF’ so now he’s partly relieved and partly confused but eh. Error and Cross are just plain confused but they decide that if Ink’s going to pretend they don’t exist then they’ll take it.  
\- Dream notices Ink flinch whenever he mentions Nightmare but he ignores it because he knows he can’t worry about every little thing in the world. Even if he tries most of the time.  
\- So then Outcome B comes and Ink is guarding the cell with Cross and Error in it. And he thinks Dream is going to kill NM. He’s kinda relieved that he won’t have to deal with those annoying emotions anymore but he’s also kinda guilty and he doesn’t like it. So when he senses Dream’s aura coming AND NM’s aura he’s like ‘Oh hecc what now’ plus he tends to panic when he feels a full range of emotions caused by both brothers being near him so he just does not like life at that moment.  
\- And when Nightmare points out that Ink isn’t sorry for being a whiny b**** after being told to guard Cross and Error’s cell (with a lot of salt because honestly after Dream changed his magical makeup without his permission Nightmare’s not up to take any shit especially from Ink) Ink’s kinda hurt like ‘how dare you I thought you cared’ but also ‘why do I care I don’t want to care-’ “LEAVE ME ALONE” and runs away like a girl on her period  
\- So time passes and Ink’s feeling better about everything because now he’s not being assigned to screw with them anymore but then the Squad moves into JR Apartments. And Ink lives in the apartments. So now he and Nightmare are all but guaranteed to run into each other at least once a day.  
\- Finally Nightmare kinda drags Ink into a closet and goes ‘ok dude we need to talk about this because it is not getting any better’  
\- And Ink’s ready to run but also it feels oddly nice for Nightmare to be giving him attention without the fighting and anger and hate...nobody could see them maybe he could just—wAiT nO sToP tHiNkInG iNk  
\- So now we have two more awkward beans who do like each other but don’t know what to do about it. I’d imagine that their version of showing affection would be bickering because. Ink is Ink. And Nightmare habitually angers people on purpose. So really these two having a serious conversation other than ‘Dude that’s my soda’ ‘No it’s not get your own’ ‘Dude. That’s M Y soda.’ is highly unlikely.  
\- And yes Blue would hear of this early on and start watching them be idiots because for a while they just try and figure things out and it gets ridiculous.  
\- Oh yeah Nightmare has a new pranking buddy but don’t tell Cross cuz he’d feel weird about it.  
\- They don’t really hide their relationship but they don’t tell anyone either. Because it still feels weird to exist in the same space and not be fighting so they decide that people can figure it out themselves.  
\- Surprisingly only Blue does and he doesn’t tell anybody either.  
\- Although Error probably suspects something whether he knows or not.  
\- Once things get sorted out and they accept that this is happening they actually pretty get cuddly. Like they’re watching a movie just sitting next to each other on the couch-next thing you know Nightmare is laying down with his head in Ink’s lap. They don’t even think about it it just happens.  
\- Lots of poking wars because Nightmare’s a petty little shit and Ink just can’t let things go  
\- Once Cross finds out and accepts it (which takes a hot minute but still not very long) he becomes Inkmare’s No. 1 shipper, although he doesn’t realize he has to compete with Blue for that position.  
\- “Just because I took his stuff doesn’t mean you can take his stuff.” -Nightmare at some point probably to someone who stole Ink’s stuff (probably Blue because he was bored)  
\- “Yeah, see, I kidnapped you brother and now he won’t leave.” - Ink trying to explain to Dream why Nightmare refuses to let go of him after he had a really bad dream.  
\- “Lol fuk u” - both of them to random people who judge their relationship because they’re dorks  
\- “1’m n07 5ur3 1f Cr055 d3ny1n9 Dr34m’5 l0v3 15 funn13r 0r 1f 7h15 15.” - Error after he accidentally walks in on Nightmare the short skele playing keep-away with one of Ink’s favorite sketchbooks because yes  
\- “Am I invited to your gay wedding?” Probably both Cross and Blue, but not necessarily at the same time

“Cross, no.”

“Cross yes.”

*Ink pokes his head into the room* “Hey Night I found that thingie we were looking for-”

*gæ gasp of delight*

*Cross looks at his best friend*

“CrOsS nO”

“CROSS YES”

*Rolls his eye lights* “Dorks.”

\- Nightmare trying to come up with a decent nickname for Ink but that’s a hard name to work with so he eventually just says “U know what Bob I give up”  
\- Ink and Nightmare would come up with the ship name for Cream and NM immediately tells Error so the three of them can ship Cream together  
\- Also they totally get most of the JR employees into it just to annoy Dream and Cross but they hardly even notice and now the three of them are just dying of laughter at how oblivious they are  
\- Blue totally trying to swap their DVDs out so they watch MLP or something that they both think is stupid but HAHA WE USE NETFLIX TAKE THAT  
\- They don’t know Blue is there though they just think it’s easier to use Netflix cuz laziness is bliss  
\- Also they don’t have to interrupt cuddles as often.  
\- Yes and when Ink initiates cuddle time there is nothing Nightmare can do because Ink gets his cuddles dang it-not that Nightmare ever wants Ink to move but sometimes Ink just kinda drowns Nightmare in his sweater like 

Nightmare: Heeeyy, I wanna watch the movie Ink, moooove

Ink: Nooooooo I like it here

NM: I cAn’T sEe ThRoUgH yOuR fUcKiNg SwEaTeR mOvE iT

Ink: Why are you so mean to me?

NM: Oh shut up you drama queen

Ink: Look who’s talking!

NM: I’m a meme lord thank you very little

\- Etc  
\- And Ink still has bad days so even though he won’t actually say anything he’ll just kinda go up to Nightmare and be a melodramatic dork like “Hey are you doing anything? No? Can I have some attention then? Plz? I’m so sad and lonely *puppy eyes*” and puts his skull on NM’s shoulder while just watching him do whatever he’s doing and Nightmare tries to see if not saying anything will get Ink to tell him what’s up but how does he do puppy eyes so well damn. Also he’s a little afraid that Ink will just leave if he doesn’t get his attention even though he knows Ink’s a stubborn ass.  
\- Expect Ink randomly walking by, poking Nightmare, and trying to leave before Nightmare can poke him back.  
\- Error and Cross finding ways and reasons to anonymously provoke a poking war  
\- Dream finally getting fed up and going Oh my god you two just move in together already and Nightmare being like D r e a m w h y while Ink is just cackling in the background  
\- And probably Blue too because at this point he lives in the vents where he watches the Cream and Inkmare shit go down  
\- Blue anonymously sends a set of nice wedding rings because goddamn it he wants them to get together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh i don't know if anyone's even going to find this yet buuut just in case, I'm going to stop here for tonight and put more of the chapters up tomorrow, probably.   
> Soooo many chapters i have to do


	5. Multiverse 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This AU/MV explores what might have happened in the Undertale multiverse (And really all fan-made characters for every fandom) if Article 13 had gone into effect the way everyone thought it would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit more of a writing prompt, but since I've kinda plotted out a more of it than just this...yeet

Everyone is being taken away in chains according to their creator. For example: Error, Fresh, and a ghostly version of Geno were all created by Crayon Queen, so they all got stuck together in the Anti-Void.

Dream and Nightmare are tied to opposite ends of their Tree and are forced to watch the multiverse as the lights of positivity extinguish for good. Sure, that may have been NIghtmare's ultimate goal, but how can he enjoy it when A, he's not causing the suffering, B, it's all boredom, anxiety, and hopelessness, and C, _he's restrained to this dead piece of wood with his annoying brother?_

But there's one light that still burns, long after the others gave up hope of escaping their chains.

Ink.

He sees the chains as not only keeping him in ____Tale, a place he never wanted to see again, but as tools some one is using to restrict his creativity. He may not know what the heck is going on, but he can hear the Creator's anger and despair at being unable to create their art or their stories. 

Still, even he can't go on forever. Eventually, he too loses hope.

As the guardians of feelings watch the last light, the multiverse's last hope of being freed, finally go out, it was as if the entire world slowly spun to a stop.

Time went by meaninglessly. 

There was no longer any meaning to anything.

The Undertale universe continued as it used to, before the AUs came into being.

Yet one day, as they wait for everything to turn into dust, life came back to the brothers as they sensed a light rekindle, brighter than before.

In the emptiness of the blank world around him, Ink, with his vials broken, his paints gone, and his sleeves torn from his escape attempts, had remembered that he possessed something no one else in existence did. Something he had never thought held much power before.

_**He had the core code.** _

It took a few tries, but he gained control over his not-really-new ability.

He broke his bonds.

It was time to free the rest of the multiverse.


	6. Oh look; it's not an Undertale thing!

Harry: ...So apparently I have a 'saving people problem.'

Percy: You don't say?

Harry: I don't get it. How is that a problem? I mean, saving people is a good thing, isn't it?

Percy: I know right? 'You're fatal flaw is loyalty, Percy.' 

Harry: 'You're going to get yourself into more trouble than you can handle, Mr. Potter.'

Percy: 'You'd jump off a bridge if all of your friends did, wouldn't you?'

Harry: 'You'd fly a giant goat bird into the castle to save an innocent, wouldn't you?'

Percy and Harry: 'Stop being a hero, kid! You're going to get yourself killed!'

Magnus: *popping out from nowhere* 100% Accurate! Can confirm! Being a hero gets you killed!

Magnus: *vanishing back into whatever mist he came from* Stay alive, guys! 

Annabeth: Oh my gods are you hearing this?

Ginny: *Recording it on her muggle device* You bet I am.

Annabeth: *jealous and sarcastic* Oh, sure. You wizards with your magic get phones, and what do us demigods get? Rainbows and holographic scrolls. 

Ginny: *Lowering her phone* Wait, why don't you have phones?

Annabeth: *Lectures Ginny about how demigods using technology sends up a weird signal for monsters that says there's free food*

Ginny: *Regrets everything and is still recording Harry and Percy being bros*

Percy: *spots something*

Percy: YO JASON! WHATCHA DOIN BRO?!

Jason: *was like a block away* PERCY? WHERE ARE YOU

Harry: Who's that?

Percy: That's my bro Jason! JASON, GET YOUR BLONDE SUPERMAN BUTT OVER HERE!

Jason: *fLiEs In LiKe ThE sOn Of JuPiTeR hE iS* WHERE'VE YOU BEEN, MAN?

Jason + Percy: *Bro hug intensifies*

Harry: dId YoU jUsT fLy WiThOuT a BrOoMsTiCk WtF

Annabeth: *snickering*

Ginny: Oh lord

Piper: *walking up behind them* ANNABETH

Piper: *takle-hugs* Hey girl!

Annabeth: Piper! How's it going?

Ginny: Who-

Annabeth: This is Piper! She's great!

Piper: Hi!

Ginny:

Ginny: How many of you demigods are there

Piper + Annabeth: Two large summer-camps full.

Ginny: (o_o)

Percy + Jason: Remember that time we made a hurricane and almost killed ourselves? That was fun

Harry: H o w

Jason + Percy: *take turns explaining their parents and what powers that gives them*

Harry: *Feeling very insignificant but dying and surviving has to count for something, right?*

Harry: *oh wait never mind they've had multiple people do that, darn*

Harry: *Saved Hogwa-*

Harry: 

Harry: *omg its a giant high school why haven't I thought of that sooner*

Annabeth: *catching up with Piper*

Piper: So actually I'm gonna be with my dad for a while and-

Ginny: *who-*

Ginny: HERMIONE!!

Harry: *hearing her* Did you say Hermione's here?

Percy: Who

Ginny: Yes! And Ron's with her!

Hermione: *explaining some muggle thing to Ron*

Ron: *trying to listen but also not interested*

Ron: Oi! Harry!

Harry: *oh good I'm not alone in this world of non-wizards*

Piper: Uh, hi...?

Ron: *goes right up and gives Harry a side-hug because BFFs FOREVER*

Harry: How've you two been?

The Demigods: *wondering vaguely if Frank, Hazel, and Leo are going to show up*

The Demigods: *also who are these people? Be friendly*

Hermione: *ranting about how she's explained the exact function of a rubber duck over ten times but rOn HeRe still doesn't seem to understand*

Ron: iTs NoT rUbBeR tHoUgH

Ron: wHy Is It CaLlEd A 'rubber duck' iF iTs NoT eVeN rUbBeR

Demigods: excuse me what-


	7. Ok back to wierd Cream stuff-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By the power of author, thou shalt be fluffy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I have no idea where I was going with this other than an excuse to write fluff of this weird obsession. Even though it's pretty cringey and unrealistic; I doubt Dream and Cross would ever interact like this, even under the circumstances I put them in.   
> ~~Tthis is for the Dreamswap idiots-~~

Dream stole a glance at Cross, who wasn’t trying to hide how antsy he was. “Where the hell is everyone?” Cross groaned, looking around at the empty halls of the JR castle. Dream shook his head, just as confused and concerned. Never, in the entire history of JR, had the place ever been so empty. Dream posted guards 24/7. Even if they were sleeping on duty, somebody should be there. As it was, Cross and Dream were alone in the entire castle. And Dream was certain something was about to go terribly wrong.

While Dream wasn’t at all bothered by his company, Cross was less than pleased. His feelings towards Dream had changed so much in the past few months, he wasn’t even sure how he felt about the guardian of positivity. 

For a long time, Cross hated Dream for convincing his first (and at the time, only) friend to leave him. He hated Dream with his whole soul. But, since he found out that his ‘secret admirer’ (whom he had enjoyed talking to through the notes they left for each other) was Dream, and since Dream had started openly flirting with him, his perspective of the winged skeleton had shifted. 

Why Dream cared about him, Cross had no idea. Hadn’t he done his level best to be Dream’s #1 annoyance? Hadn’t he threatened to kill the guy when he thought he had killed Nightmare, Cross’s best friend and Dream’s brother? And yet, Cross still found himself trying not to stutter whenever Dream gave him litte thoughtful presents; usually chocolate, but occasionally other things. Once, when Cross had lost his favorite penguin plushie, Snowball, it mysteriously showed up a few days later with a note from JR’s lost-and-found saying “we found your shit please b more carful.” In a nicer and more professional way, but still. Inconspicuous, but definitely Dream. Another time, Dream randomly gave Cross the entire series of an anime he had really wanted to watch but never had the chance to. Meaning Nightmare and Error could blame—I mean, THANK—Dream for Cross’s latest obsession.

Cross wasn’t going to admit that he thought he was developing feelings for Dream, too. But it didn’t matter; partly because Dream could probably sense that and it was just a matter of time before he said something, and partly because they needed to figure out where everyone went.

Dream opened the door to the kitchens. Empty. Dining hall; empty. Even the hospital wing was dead silent, which was unnerving. Usually it was filled with coughing, or patients asking for things like ham sandwiches and blankets. As he and Cross wandered through the halls, Dream voiced a question that had been lurking in his mind. 

Of course, being Dream he said it like it was a statement.

“You know, you don’t have to follow me. We might search more efficiently if we split up.”

Cross hesitated. Dream sensed his conflicting emotions; a desire to get as far away from Dream as possible, and a subtle need to be near him. The latter warmed his soul, but he ignored it. He only wondered which side Cross would listen to.

After a moment, the monochrome skeleton spoke up. “It might be safer if we stick together,” he started. “If everyone’s gone, who knows what might be lurking around.” 

Dream pondered this. It wasn’t an entirely unreasonable assumption. “You do have a point,” he said. “But what would-“

He was interrupted by a low chuckle. The pair turned around to see a tall, absurdly broad-shouldered skeleton in black and white clothes, similar to Cross’s. The new skeleton, who was vaguely reminiscent of a Gaster, looked less like an intelligent monster and more like a beast. But Cross knew better. This monster was much, much more clever than he seemed.

The skeleton smiled at Cross; something that looked more like a grimace. Cross summoned his knife into his hands and pointed it at him. “Is that anyway to treat an old friend, Sans?” He asked in mock hurt. Cross gripped his weapon. “What do you want?” Cross spat, rage, hatred, and fear swirling around inside him. 

Gaster spread his hands. “Is it so wrong to want to visit my alleged son?” Cross lunged at him, but he jumped back. “I’m. Not. Your. Son!” Cross attacked again. This time Dream found Gaster right next to him. “Say, Lord Dream, I do believe he’s trying to kill me!” He said, mocking surprise. “Isn’t that a crime? Shouldn’t you be doing something?”

Dream narrowed his eye sockets and carfully stepped away from him. Partly because he didn’t trust this skeleton, and partly because he didn’t really want to loose his legs today, and Cross was angry enough that he might not notice if there was another person in front of his blade until it was too late.

But Cross wasn’t just pissed at X-Gaster for being there. He suspected that his creator had either brought them to an alternate reality where the castle existed but the people did not, or that he did something to them. What really put the icing on the cake though was that Gaster was trying to trick him into hurting Dream. Somebody who cared about him even though he had been such a shit head for so long. 

No. He wasn’t having that. Once the evil skeleton moved, Cross was on his a**. Murder or not, he was pretty sure Dream would agree that Gaster deserved it, even if he should’ve let him have a ‘fair trial’ or whatever they do here. 

Gaster leaned over to whisper something to Dream, but Dream put his hand on the other’s chest to stop him. “I believe you’re the one who should be arrested, X-Gaster,” Dream said coolly. “I seem to remember that you almost destroyed an entire universe single-handedly.”

X-Gaster shrugged. “Perhaps it was an accident?”

Cross growled at him. “If that was an accident, then I’m adopting a cow.” 

That was very serious, coming from Cross, who was very open about how evil he thought cows were.

Instead of letting the skeleton who blew up his AU reply, Cross brought his blade down on his skull. As soon as it made contact, however, Gaster turned into a puff of smoke, which dissipated quickly. 

“Wh-“ Cross glanced at Dream. “Did-did I do that-?”

Dream shook his head. “I think staying together would be wisest option,” he said slowly, looking around the hall warily. “May I suggest heading to my office?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Cross put his knife back in its holster. “This is getting weird.”

They walked down a few halls, went up a few floors, and they still weren’t at their destination. But of course, what was a creepy adventure without the long trip? 

Cross finally got annoyed at nothing happening, and looked down one hallway to see if there was anything interesting. He yelped and jumped, finding himself clinging to Dream’s back as the winged skeleton looked between him and the hallway littered with stuffed cow plushies.

“Cross-“

“NO I AM NOT WALKING THROUGH THE HALLWAY OF HORROR AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME.”

Dream laughed. “You know, they’re not real.”

Cross glared at him. “Cows. Are evil. Stuffed cows are vessels for that evil and are not to be f***ed with because that will release their evil into the world and everyone will die. Don’t lecture me on how they’re just stuffed animals because they will kill us if we aren’t careful.”

Dream raised his bone brow. “You’re far too worked up for this, but if you’re not going to walk I’m not going to force you.”

He left it unsaid that he didn’t mind the black and white skeleton riding on his back, but his faint yellow blush told Cross enough. Cross said nothing, but he turned his head away so Dream couldn’t see the purple that was creeping up onto his face. 

As Dream tread through the Hallway of Horrors, which Cross was silently swearing he would never go through again, he turned to look behind him. 

The cows were looking at him. “U-uhh d-dude-?” Dream turned just as the cow at the other end of the hall threw back its head and mooed a battle cry. The rest of them took it up and prepared to charge. 

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU?!?” Cross screeched as Dream flew at top speed through the halls. “COWS ARE F***ING EVIL!” 

Dream didn’t respond as he was too busy trying not to fly into walls at 25 MPH. In retrospect, he could go much faster, but he thought it would be too dangerous to go any faster than that in an enclosed area. But he nodded vigorously to show he had, in fact, just been told.

While Cross was clinging on for dear life, he noticed that Dream was using his aura to make him feel safe. Which he kind of appreciated, even though he wasn’t sure how he could tell. After maybe a quarter of an hour of trying to escape, Cross looked back to see that the cows were still behind them and weren’t gaining or loosing any ground. 

“I was thinking,” he yelled over the ‘wind’, “What if we tried to fight them? Do you think they’d do what X did and poof?”

Dream shook his head. “I don’t know,” he yelled back. “But are you sure you want to take them on?” Cross was about to protest, and say that he was more than capable of slicing and dicing a few dozen stuffed cows, when he looked back and saw more joining the herd from the rooms they were passing. The new ones mooed in stuffed bovine rage as their little beady button eyes glared at him and Dream. 

“Yeeeaaaah, no, please don’t stop.”

Dream glanced at the ever growing herd, and an idea formed in his mind. “How intelligent do you think they are?” He asked Cross. Cross looked between his savior and his doom, then back again. “Not very, but I’m not an expert in cow IQ. Why?” 

“Well,” Dream huffed, running out of stamina, “I was wondering if they’re dense enough to jump out a window if we broke one for them.”

Cross grinned. “That’s probably one of the best ideas I’ve ever heard, besides a Taco Bell delivery service.”

Dream smiled, although Cross couldn’t see it. For the umpteenth time he wished Cross would accept some sort of physical affection, but even if he would they weren’t in a position where they could. 

Dream knew there was a window a few turns and hallways away. As he approached it he yelled, “Watch your head, and hold on tight!” Cross buried his grape-I mean, face-in Dream’s back, almost affectionately. Before he could react to that, Dream raised his arms protectively in front of his head mere seconds before he burst through the window. He felt the broken glass tear through his jacket and scrape across his skull. Judging by how Cross tightened his grip on him, he knew Cross didn’t go unscathed either. 

Dream turned to watch the herd of demonic cows jumping from the window six stories up, and turning into smokey mist on the ground. 

Dream sensed Cross’s emotions going from triumph and relief to something one can only describe as oh shit.

“Are you alright, Cross?”

“Yeah, just...I looked down. Please don’t drop me.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“Good, because if I died I’d haunt your ass for the rest of eternity.”

Dream shuddered at the thought. He already had (at least) one ghost in the castle, he didn’t need two. Ani and Cross working together wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Dream watched the last cow get smart and take a running jump, almost reaching them before gravity took over and killed it. Then, he looked around at the castle. “I could probably take us straight to my office from here,” he suggested. “The chances of running into anything in the air are low.” Then he smirked. “Of course, there might be flying cows-“

“Don’t jinx us, you asshole.”

Dream laughed, and after a moment Cross joined him. 

Dream opened the window from the outside and let Cross climb through before he did. Then, closing the window, he immediately sat down in his chair and contemplated how weird it was not to see anything on his desk. At all. No papers, pens, paper clips. Nothing. 

He also wondered why Cross looked so adorable when he was tired. The monochrome skeleton had plopped himself on the floor and was lying spread-eagle in the center of the room. 

Cross, on the other hand, was thinking about how bad-ass his companion had been, breaking through the window like that. That was cool. Cross wanted to try it.

...Just. At ground level, not the sixth story up. 

Then there was the stupidly cute face of I can’t believe your serious but I’m going to go with it Dream had made before the demon cows attacked. Just thinking about it made Cross’ emotions, which were just as conflicting and confusing as ever, fight each other. Half of him screamed at him to just get over himself and tell Dream already. Dream had become very open about how he felt about Cross, why couldn’t he tell the winged skeleton that his feelings were returned? But the other half of him kept reminding him that Dream was the reason Ink left. Dream was the reason he, Nightmare, and Error had been on the run for years; Nightmare for at least fifty before that. 

Yet the more he thought about it, the more he wondered if Dream recruiting Ink wasn’t a good thing. After all, even if the CEO of JR hadn’t come, Ink would’ve left eventually. Somehow. If Cross had gotten back before they left, he probably would’ve joined JR too, meaning he wouldn’t have been a part of the Meme Squad. And Cross thought that the Meme Squad, finding his friends, was one of the best things that ever happened to him, next to discovering tacos. 

Maybe, just maybe, Cross could forgive Dream.

After he and Cross started looking through the surprisingly limited amount of books left in this version of his office, Dream sighed and put his head in his hands, with his elbows resting on his desk.

Just behind him, Cross stretched and yawned. “Any luck?” Cross shook his skull. “Nope. I’ve only gone through like ten of them though because they’re so big.” He knocked his hand against one for emphasis. Dream shrugged. Comparatively, he had already searched all twenty books in his stack for anything that might help them get home or explain where they were. The only hints so far were the fact that the books missing were all on multidimensional travel theories, and theories on how other dimensions and other universes were two different things. 

Still. There had to be something, and Dream was no stranger to all-nighters. After a few minutes in which Dream started looking through the rest of the books in Cross’s stack, Cross walked up next to him. “Dude. It’s like, 2:30 in the morning.” He sounded and looked half asleep. Dream, on the other hand, felt fine. Which probably wasn’t a good thing, but he always took care of others before himself, and that usually meant boatloads of paper work. 

“Yes. Your point?”

Cross gave him a look that said, Are you crazy? At this hour? “SO, it’s sleep time. Stop what your doing and at least take a nap, okay? Not sleeping is bad.” 

Dream raised a bone brow. “You seem forget that I rarely ever sleep.”

Cross made a face. “Maybe I just wanted an excuse-“ 

Cross’s eye sockets widened as his face erupted into yet another grape-colored blush. He quickly shut his mouth and turned away, pulling up his hood in a vain attempt to hide.

Dream stared at him for a moment before a small smile grew on his face. “Cross,” He said slowly, “What did you want an excuse for?”

“U-u-uhhh, n-nothing,” he stammered. “Forget it.”

But Dream’s grin only grew wider. He pushed his chair away from his desk and turned to fully face his friend, who was blushing madly under his jacket hood. “Cross. Are you sure it was nothing?”

Cross made vague ‘Uh-huh’ noises, his back now turned to Dream.

“Croooss,” Dream said, almost flirtatiously. “You know I can sense how you’re feeling right now.”

Cross’s embarrassment grew even further until he was only a few steps away from mortified. The only thing that kept him on that threshold was the fact that there wasn’t anybody around.

“I j-just...I kinda wanted...” He groaned, not unlike Mom, you’re embarrassing me! If he wasn’t a polite and respecting person, Dream would not have able to resist the urge to comment on how f***iNg CuTe He WaS bEiNg DaMn CrOsS hOw ArE yOu So CuTe-

Instead he remained silent, trying not to grin as Cross finally started to get over how big of a tsundere he was.

“I...um...I kinda wanted to c-c-cuddle...” Cross muttered the last few words so quietly that Dream barely heard him. But Cross turned just enough to see Dream all but beaming at him in delight.

“You could’ve just said that and it’d have been fine,” the winged skeleton laughed, still smiling. A small smile tugged at Cross’s face, and he laughed sheepishly.

Morning found the two peacefully asleep on the floor in a pile of books, with Cross curled up against Dream’s chest, and the taller skeleton with his arms and wings around his new boyfriend. Even though Cross would never get over being a tsundere dork, in that moment they were happy. Now all that they needed to do was get home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way I'm uploading chapters between homework breaks and not looking over them at all so if something in the formatting or grammar or whatever seems off just point it out and I'll fix it later  
> I'm going to have to do through them anyway to do the proper italics and stuff anyway gfdgsjkj


	8. hahAHHAHAHAHAhahahAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A crack fic about Yanderes

Dream: *Casually hanging out with Ink like a normal friend*  
Blue: *Angrily storms in but tries to act cheerful when he sees friends*  
Ink: Uh...You ok Blue?  
Blue: YEP! WHY DO YOU ASK?  
Dream: You're kinda...Raging right now?  
Blue: I-  
Blue: *growls* Forget it.  
Blue: *leaves, no longer acting happy*  
Ink: ??????????  
Dream: Idk man

Nightmare: *Reading a book on the couch*  
Cross: *Eating chocolate next to him because all the have is a couch*  
Nightmare: ...  
Cross: What?  
Nightmare: Two people just got really pissed  
Cross: Who-  
Killer: *bursts through the door, knife in hand and spins around while skidding to a halt next to the couch*  
Dust: *quickly follows him, looking really upset*  
Killer: DUDE  
Killer: S T O P  
Killer: I'M NOT UR FRICKEN SENPAI  
Dust: *The blow of rejection* YES YOU ARE  
Dust: *Tries to tackle Killer but he moves out of the way* WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!!  
Cross + Nightmare: -_-'  
Nightmare: *sighs deeply* This is going to be a long day.  
Cross: *concern*  
Dust + Killer: *continue playing Yandere Tag around the room*

Blue: *totally not stalking* I'm gonna fookin kill him  
Blue: *pulls out a knife* Little target-chested piece of shit  
Blue: StEaLiNg My SeNpAi FrOm Me  
Blue: *going back to his room to have a scary yandere moment* I LOVE SENPAI, YES I DO-  
Blue: *throws knife at a poor scribble of Killer* HE'S FOR ME-  
Blue: *Yanks it out viciously, grinning* NOT FOR Y O U = )  
Blue: *stabby stabs the picture*

Nightmare: *eye socket twitches*  
Nightmare: *throws book onto coffee table and stands* OK THAT'S ENOUGH  
Dust + Killer: *freeze*  
Nightmare: GET THE FUCK OUT  
Dust + Killer: *run as the angry octopus sends his tentacles after them*  
Dust: *proceeds to drag Killer into side closet and cuddle him against his will*  
Killer: GODFUCKINGDAMMITDUSTLETGOISWEARTOFUCKINGGODIWILLFUCKINGKILLYOUIFYOUDON'TSTOPYOURBULLSHITBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHRANTRANTRANT   
Dust: (-w-) Senpai <3  
Killer: fffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Dream: *casually walking through the woods*  
Dream: *because that's a good idea*  
Dream: *totally safe amiright*  
Dream: *Hears twig snap*  
Dream: *Screams like a little girl because lets face it he is*  
Guy hiding in shadow: *sweat drops*  
Dream: *summons bow* Wh-who's there?  
Guy: Nobody  
Dream: ...  
Dream: ...........  
Guy: *nervous sweating*  
Dream: I can sense your emotions  
Dream: Killer why are you stalking me  
Killer: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
Killer: R e a s o n s  
Dream: (-_-)  
Killer: Okay welp charade's up  
Killer: *pulls out a dart thingie?????* Night Dream~!  
Dream: Wait wha-

*YEET*

Dream: (xOx)  
Killer: *Glances at the 4th wall* What? Don't look at me like that! He's not dead!  
Killer: Really!  
Killer: He's just unconscious.  
Killer: *picks up Dream's body*  
Killer: Awwwww he's so cute when he's asleep~  
Killer: *casually kisses his foreskull* <3

Blue: Dusty~  
Dust: *looking for Killer*   
Dust: UGH what do you want  
Blue: *Smiles sweetly and pulls out a knife*   
Blue: I want you to p r o m i s e me you'll stop seeing with Killer~  
Dust: *yandere mode engaged* Bitch YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH MY SENPAI  
Blue: *giggles creepily* Not if you behave, Dusty~  
Dust: *glares daggers at him*  
Dust: *Eye magic flare* YOU WANNA HAVE A MAD TIME?  
Blue: *poutes* Aw, come on Dust! That's not how you should talk to me!  
Dust: DON'T THREATEN MY SENPAI YOU LITTLE SHRIMP

*Yandere standoff*

*Tumbleweed and duel music. It's Hoi Noon.*

Killer: *Comes out of the bushes whistling happily carrying Dream's mostly lifeless body on his shoulder*  
Killer: *Sees them and freezes*  
Dust: *looks both heartbroken and enraged*  
Blue: *just fricken pissed*  
Blue: OKAY  
Blue: NUMBER 1: YOU STOLE MY SENPAI  
Blue: NUMBER 2: THATS MY FRIEND EXCUSE ME WHAT THE HELL  
Dust: Killer.  
Dust: This had better be a mission from Nightmare.  
Killer: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO BUZZ OFF  
Dust: *Summons blasters and aims for Dream*  
Dust: We are turning him into Nightmare.  
Killer: *equips knife* Try me, Grey Face.  
Blue: *thinking* He just insulted Senpai?! How dare he!  
Blue: *REEEEEEET*  
Killer: *runs like Forest Gump*

Ink: *randomly checks time* Huh Dream's been gone for a while now  
Ink: He said he was going to be back in half an hour and that was a whole hour ago  
Ink: Maybe I should look for him  
Error: *pops in randomly cuz its the Doodle Sphere* L00k f0r wh0?  
Ink: Dream. He said he was going to go chill alone  
Error: Huh 1 9u355 K1ll3r mu57'v3 907 h1m.  
Ink: Oh ok-wait what  
Error: L0l y34h h3'5 0b53553d w17h Dr34m. 17'5 funny, 35p3c14lly wh3n h3'5 7ry1n9 70 90 574lk h1m 4nd Du57 15 ju57 l1k3 'K1LL3R-53NP41 D0N'7 L 3 4 V 3 M 3'  
Ink: Tf  
Ink: Wait isn't Blue obsessed with Dust?  
Ink: And Blue is out right now  
Error: ...  
Ink + Error: Oh sh17

Dream: *starting to wake up* hnnnnnnnnn I feel dead  
Killer: *covers his mouth* Sh they'll find us  
Dream: *still under the effects of the drug* whhhhh who wasssssgoin on  
Killer: Don't worry about it, Sunny.  
Dream: ??????? Sunny???  
Blue: *In the distance* COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE~  
Dust: *Closer but still a ways off only in the opposite direction* I know you're here somewhere Killzy~ If you come out, I promise I won't let Blue hurt you~  
Dream: *starting to be more aware and anxious* Uhhhhhhh why are they looking for you?  
Dream: And why does Blue sound like he's plotting murder?  
Dream: Wait why the heck am I up in a tree with you?!?!?  
Killer: *sighs* I told you to be quiet  
Killer: *gags him*  
Dream: *offeneded* MMPHF!!  
Blue: COME ON, KILLER~ I'LL MAKE IT QUICK~  
Dream: *more scared* Mmmff?!?  
Dust: *right underneath them, muttering* Little shit better not touch him...  
Dust:   
Killer:  
Dream: (o_o")  
Sphere cow: mOOOOOOOOO  
Dust: *Looks up, straight at them* =)  
Dream: *dies of fear*

Nightmare: *Cross left him for chocolate* ...?  
Nightmare: Who decided to take Dream to watch the It movie?  
Nightmare: *tries to open viewing portal to Dream's location but Error pops in*  
Error: 3yyyyyyyy N19h7m4r3 1 n33d y0u f0r 4 s3c0nd.  
Nightmare: Ugh, can it wait? I was about to go see where Dream was so I could terrorize him.  
Ink: *portaling next to the octopus* Yeah, about that  
Nightmare: JFC WHAT THE HELL  
Ink: So Error told me that Killer has a, uh, pretty strong opinion of Dream.  
Nightmare: Okay...?  
Nightmare: Is that supposed to mean something, or-  
Ink: Like, stalker-levels  
Nightmare: Wait what  
Nightmare: How? He shouldn't be able to feel anything-  
Nightmare: O h  
Nightmare: O h that actually kinda makes sense  
Ink: ?  
Error: ?????  
Nightmare: Dream has a positive aura, and I usually screw with Killer's soul so that he can't feel anything besides the effects of my negativity  
Nightmare: But if he's around Dream he can feel positive emotions so he probably just wants to feel happy all the time  
Ink: You're very calm about this  
Nightmare: Oh, don't worry; he's going to be punished for siding with my enemy. But the logic is sound, and if I wasn't trying to kill Dream than I couldn't care less.   
Error: 4l50 Du57 15 g01n9 70 k1ll Blu3 wh0'5 901n9 70 k1ll K1ll3r wh0'5 901n9 70 k1ll b07h 0f 7h3m 1f 7h3y hur7 Dr34m 0r 7ry 70 74k3 h1m 4w4y fr0m h1m.  
Nightmare: Wait Blue and Dust are in the same AU as them?!?!?  
Nightmare: S H I T WHY DIDN'T YOU START WITH THAT  
Nightmare: THEY'RE GOING TO START WORLD WAR THREE  
Ink: Uh I'm pretty sure that was a human thing  
Nightmare: *opens portal* DOESN'T MATTER SQUID WE GOTTA GO N O W

Dream: (;-;) Why meeeeeeeee  
Dream: *Dust's attack almost hits him* *screech*  
Blue: DREAM GET OVER HERE  
Blue: I DON'T TO ACIDENTALY HURT YOU WHILE I'M TRYING TO KILL KILLER  
Dream: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER BLUE  
Killer: *Turns his attention from Dust to Blue* Do it, you little shit, and I'll smash your skull  
Blue: I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, TEARS  
Dust: *growls at Blue but currently deciding it would be easier to kill Dream first before dealing with him*

*P O R T AL*

Ink: GUYS STOP  
Blue: INK???  
Dream: INK HELP ME PLEASE  
Killer: *snarls at Ink but a goopy tentacle picks up Dream* Dream-AGH!  
Error: Jfc K1ll3r c4lm d0wn  
Killer: *now tied up* LET ME GO YOU GLITCHING ABOMANATION  
Error: H3y; 4b0m4n4710n 15 my c47chphr453!  
Dream: Nightmare-?!  
Nightmare: *also picks up Dust but holds the angry one away from the one he is still trying to murder* Stop struggling Dust. I've had just about enough of your guys' shit today and it's not even fricking lunch time  
Ink: *Holds onto Blue*  
Ink: Blue for the love of god stop  
Blue: *struggling to get to Dust* BUT SENPAI-  
Ink: BLUE

*Big flinch from the yanderes*

Ink: Thank you.  
Dream: So...thanks? But why are you three here? Together?  
Ink: Uhhh I think Error got bored and wanted to bother me but I was getting worried cuz you'd been gone for a long time. Then we figured out what was up so we got Nightmare and here we are.  
Nightmare: That was grossly oversimplified but he's essentially correct  
Error: D1d y0u 4c7u4lly 3xp3c7 4 full 3xpl4n4710n fr0m h1m?  
Nightmare: No  
Killer: *glaring daggers at Nightmare*  
Nightmare: *glares back* Boi u got a problem with me?  
Killer: *looks away still looking pissed*  
Nightmare: Thats what I thought.  
Nightmare: *tosses Dream to Ink + Blue*  
Nightmare: *takes Killer from Error* Right you two are going to have some explaining and chores to do  
Dust: Can I-  
Nightmare: While it would be punishment for Killer, making you two clean alone would make you suffer more so no  
Dust: :'(  
Nightmare: Get over it. Plus Killer would probably try to cut out your throat since you want to do that to Dream.  
Killer: *partly relieved but mostly agreeing with Nightmare. Also staring longingly/creepily at Dream.*  
Dream: *shivers*  
Error: W3lp 7h15 w45 fun 1'm 90nn4 90 w47ch 50m3 Und3rn0v3l4  
Error: *teleports away*  
Ink: *eye lights go sad*  
Dream: *notices* *sweat drops*  
Blue: *right after Nightmare leaves with his overgrown five year olds* INNNNK LET ME GOOOOOOOO I WANNA FOLLOW DUST  
Ink: No  
Ink: I'm getting Honey to put you under house arrest  
Blue: *whines*  
Dream: I just wanted to be alone and what do I get? I get drugged and almost kidnapped.   
Dream: Funking wonder-  
Dream: ...  
Dream: *sighs* Hi Fresh  
Fresh: *appears out of nowhere* Yo that was totes terrifying  
Fresh: U ok brah?  
Dream: Why are you asking?  
Fresh: Chill, Dream broski! I'm allowed to be concerned for my home dawgs, ain't I?  
Ink: After that, Dream has a right to be suspicious  
Blue: *still salty about Dust*  
Fresh: Mmm that's a good point bruh  
Fresh: But what was the look I saw you give Error broski when he left?  
Blue: Hmmm? What's this? Do I hear a s h i p?  
Ink: N O  
Dream: *So fricking done with life rn*

Nightmare: *is reading that book again*  
Horror: *walks into room* Uh...boss?  
Nightmare: Hmm?  
Horror: Remember how you said Dust and Killer weren't allowed to do their chore punishments together?  
Nightmare: *realizes that something's going to need his attention and sighs* What happened?  
Horror: Well...  
Horror: Lets just say if it looks like Killer has something on his neck  
Horror: Don't ask  
Cross: *quickly walks in and shuts the door behind him*  
Cross: *blank eye sockets*  
Nightmare: Uh-  
Cross: Bleach.  
Cross: N O W .  
Horror: *sympathetically provides*  
Nightmare: You know that's not good for-  
Nightmare: Okay, never mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to upload nkdsjgkdf oops


	9. That's not funny-

At some point after Leo got back to camp w/Calypso probably:

Leo: *casually working in the forge/workshop, probably humming Light 'Em Up*

_*BANG*_

Hephestus camper: *comes over in concern* Leo? Are you okay?

Leo: OOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Leo: *On the floor, clutching his elbow* THE AGONY

Hephertus camper: ?????? Leo what the Hades 

Leo: I HIT MY FUNNY BONE ;_;

Hephestus camper: Pfft-

Leo: SHUT UP

Leo: ITS NOT FUNNY

Hephestus camper: Leo how did you manage to do that?

Leo: I DON'T KNOW

Leo: I WAS JUST MESSING AROUND WITH SOME SPARE PARTS 

Leo: THEN I WAS LIKE "Oh maybe I should get something else" AND I TURNED AROUND AND HIT IT ON THE TABLE LIKE A MORON

Leo: IT HUUUUUUURRRRRRTSSSSSS

Calypso: *popping her head in out of nowhere* Leo, you a r e a moron

Leo: *whines in pain and protest*


End file.
